Pity the poor folk at Apple. A record quarter of iPhone sales that generated profits of $18bn has been greeted as 'End Times' by the wizards of Wall Street, the same people who caused the near meltdown of the financial system eight years ago with their fiscal prudence.
The cause of this woe is the fact that, despite what by any other measure is a spectacular set of results, Apple's growth in Q1 2016 versus Q1 2015 is not good enough.
As if that wasn’t sufficient doom and gloom, Apple said it expects sales of iPhones to dip a bit in the next quarter, and possibly even over the entire fiscal year, owing to factors like China’s slowdown, currency fluctuations and so on.
This has, for some reason, been taken as the end of Apple - that its days of innovation are over, we’ve fallen out of love with the iPhone and Cook and Co may as well pack up and go home.
In the world of high finance there can be no pause or, whisper it, decline because … well, just because. The idea that things happen in cycles or waves or in stages is just not on. Everything must go up. Forever!
The logic of this is clearly hollow (although the London property market appears immune to it) but the history of, well, everything is that 'what goes up must come down'. But that saying doesn't imply that the 'come down' is forever.
So if you ignore the short-term thinking of the markets, there were actually several elements to the results that suggest Apple will be around for a while yet.
The most notable was when Cook revealed during the earnings call that only 40 percent of all iPhone owners are currently on the newer iPhone 6, 6 Plus, 6S and 6S Plus devices.
This means there are 60 percent of iPhone owners, an intensely loyal bunch, who are still to get around to buying a new iPhone.
Buy them they will because, no matter how much they love their iPhone 5 or 5S, the device will slow down and become unusable, or their contracts will come to an end and an upgrade will be too tempting to turn down.
As such, when the iPhone 7 rolls around there will be a huge pent up demand from owners of older iPhones to finally get round to buying the latest and greatest model.
And this doesn’t even take into account the fact that there will also be a huge base of buyers when the iPhone 7 launches in September who bought the iPhone 6 or iPhone 6 Plus and are due their traditional two-year upgrade.
So I would not be surprised if, fast-forward one year, Apple announces huge iPhone sales, possibly even touching 100 million for the quarter, and the city fathers nod sagely and declare that all is well again.
The other reason Apple is probably not too worried about the near-term future and satisfied for the long term is India. As Cook noted, the Indian market is primed for economic growth, especially as its median age is so darn young.
“India's growth, as you know, is very good. The population of India is incredibly young. The median age there is 27. I think of the China age being young, at 36, 37, so 27 is unbelievable. Almost half the people in India are below 25," he said.
"So I see the demographics there being incredibly great for a consumer brand and for people that really want the best products.”
The market, though, that nebulous thing that hovers in the background of all of our lives, was not convinced by any of this and Apple's share price fell overnight, wiping billions off the company's value and no doubt upsetting a few hedge fund managers.
But if I were an Apple investor I wouldn't be too worried. Just wait for the iPhone 7. It's only eight months away. That may be eons to the Wall Street cronies, but really it's not that long.
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