Whoever said law was boring should check out Bond Solon's 1999 Expert Witness Survey, designed to mark the passage of the first six months of Lord Woolf's new civil procedure rules. The cream of the country's expert witness community has laid itself bare to offer a stream of one-liners that would not be amiss on a comedy show. Everything from booze to parrots gets a mention and TS is proud to bring you a selection of giggles. For example, one observer reminisces about 'watching in disbelief as a disgruntled client stripped off in front of a joint experts meeting and proceeded to take a shower to discredit our joint opinion that it leaked. She was wrong'. Or how about the plaintiff who was caught on video wearing a pink tutu and roller blades while dancing to YMCA when claiming to be 'destroyed' by lumbar pain. And what of those closer to the accountant's heart? One witness remarks about the time they were 'asked to give an hourly rate to comment on the quality of approximately three square metres of brickwork 60 miles away from our office'. But perhaps accountants need to learn more about blending into the background. Take Michael Muschamp, who once got mistaken for the opposition's expert accountant in the court car park, prompting the counsel 'into a monologue on the weakness of his case'. TS reckons this sounds like a great way to get the upper hand in court.
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