Sometimes during long, dark lonely evenings when Mrs Sneak is away on meetings with Elon Musk to discuss Tesla lithium-ion batteries over a glass of Chianti, Sneak will boot up his PC and trawl the web for glamorous celebrities.
Model, TV personality and ‘actress' Kelly Brook is one of Sneak's favourite figures to type into Google's search bar. It's because, like many a teenager going through puberty, he likes her big eyes. Yes, definitely the eyes.
But Intel Security has arrived to give Sneak's browsing a cold shower, as Brook has been named as the most dangerous cyber celebrity of 2015.
Brook gains this moniker, not because she is the cyber equivalent of folklore spirit Bloody Mary during an act of captromancy, but because hackers make use of her celebrity status and reputation for raunchy pictures to lead web users into malware and virus traps.
Cyber thieves can then swipe private data and sling malware onto a red-faced user's PC, laptop or mobile device.
Sneak himself was once caught out by such a devious trick, right at the moment Mrs Sneak returned home and started switching the lights back on.
As an enterprising problem-solving chap, Sneak immediately ejected his laptop through the nearest window. He then placed all blame for its destruction on the cat (pictured below), who was idly watching the situation unfold in that judgemental way natural to the feline species.
Nick Viney, vice president of consumer, mobile and small business at Intel Security, explained that a lot of people are not aware of the digital risks such celebrities pose to their PCs and could be similarly caught out.
"Most consumers are unaware of the potential risks they are exposing themselves to by clicking on sites that provide them with the latest news and entertainment," he said, probably in a tone that suggests he's more disappointed than angry.
"But cyber criminals are quick to exploit this desire for breaking celebrity news, leading consumers to sites that download harmful malware onto devices and steal their private data."
Brook tops Intel's danger list, but she is joined by other celebrities such as model Katie Price (aka Jordan) in second place and X Factor judge Nick Grimshaw in third.
It's a sad state of affairs when Sneak has to give up his little pleasure rituals, but perhaps it is best to heed Intel's warnings to avoid embarrassing situations erupting at the most inappropriate moments.
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