Apple surprised just about everyone on Wednesday by naming its latest iPad, not the iPad 3 or iPad HD as was expected, but just New iPad.
Sneak noted that when asked about the branding by Miguel Helft of Forbes magazine, Apple's chief of worldwide marketing Phil Schiller responded with a throwaway line:
I asked Phil Schiller why the name "new iPad" (and not iPad3, iPadHD). Answer: we don't like to be predictable.
- mhelft (@mhelft) March 7, 2012
Aside from the observations that this won't be the New iPad for long and won't be the last New iPad either it is, to say the least, something of an unfortunate choice by Apple's top executives.
Just imagine for a moment the millions of conversations that will happen in the native habitats of the Apple faithful all over the world: the potted fern festooned and so tastefully decorated, trendy coffee shops that shamelessly peddle overpriced lattes and GMO-laced sweets - the types of places Sneak is never seen.
Sweet, young, lonely potential hookup (SYLPH): "Oh, nice tablet! Is that an iPad?"
Turtleneck-wearing internet surfing twit (TWIST): "Why yes it is. Haven't you seen one?"
SYLPH: "Oh yes, my ex-boyfriend had one years ago, but he never let me use it."
TWIST: "That was the old one. This is the new iPad."
SYLPH: "That was called the iPad too. Is yours a newer model?"
TWIST: "Yes, this is the latest one. It's called just the iPad."
SYLPH: "Oh, I see. So was my ex-boyfriend's. [suspicious] Are you sure this is a new one?"
As you can imagine, this sort of thing isn't going to be helping any Apple fanbois hook up. Sneak imagines, though, that people will call the device the iPad 3 anyway, to help avoid this kind of confusion.
However, for Apple, it's not so simple. What do they do when the next device comes out, call it the Newer iPad? Then what, the Newest iPad? Followed by the Even Newer iPad? Old Steve Jobs would never have painted himself into this corner.
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