Radio 4 comedy The Now Show last week wondered why Gordon Brown still holds up a red briefcase on Budget day, given that it might be more appropriate - in this age of the information economy - to attend the photo opportunity brandishing a red USB stick (attended by Ed Balls clutching a copy of Excel for Dummies). But Sneak wonders why it is necessary to physically carry the data to parliament, in this age of instant data transfer, when it could be emailed the 500 yards from Downing Street to Parliament. Then, with the paperwork out of the way, work should focus on some sort of matter transference beam to save the fat controller the trouble of being driven to the dispatch box in his Jaguar. Sneak suggests boffins start by tackling the problem of dismantling the chancellor into his constituent atoms, preferably with a laser beam or some sort of atomic-force-suppression ray. Or, if need be, a chainsaw. Reassembling him again might take yet more research but, you know, Sneak is happy to wait.
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