It sounds like the stuff of nightmares. A full frontal assault of some of Britain's great personalities rammed in line with a hellish amalgamation of people that are annoying and famous for being 'on telly', all in the name of promoting Nintendo's Christmas games range.
Sneak has a soft spot for Helen Mirren, and will always have time for Terry Wogan, but the news that his television - aka, the Mrs - will be shoving people like Jedward and JLS in his grill on regular occasions has chilled him to the bone.
Yes he likes Nintendo, yes he likes Mario, and gosh darnit, given the right circumstances he even likes Christmas. But combined? And with added gittish twinnery in the form of Jedward? Well, no thank you.
Nintendo doesn't involve Sneak in its marketing decisions though, which goes some way to explaining how the firm came to select the Irish [non] singers Jedward, the hat-wearing boyband JLS, Olly - poor man's Will Young - Murs, and X-Factor 'winner', if there is such a thing, Alexandra Burke to try and tempt him into buying one of its gadgets for an ungrateful member of his family.
An unrepentant Nintendo has sent him a press release about the horrid affair too, which really only served to annoy him more. Particularly when he read that Nintendo will release a game that aims to train his face.
Note to Nintendo, it will take a lot of work to remove the scowl, but best of luck.
Dawn Paine, marketing director at Nintendo UK, said, "This year's star line up is the best yet, demonstrating the wide appeal of Nintendo products. This Christmas, with the help of our celebrity friends, we will be helping the nation play together and have fun whatever their age."
Almost everyone Dawn, almost everyone.
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