Every industry has its share of villains, and the computing world is no
different. This reputation is sometimes earned, sometimes not. The term
'villain' stems from Roman times and was used to describe someone who worked the
land but was without honour. In later years it evolved into many forms, ranging
from the man in a black hat and twisted moustache tying a young maiden to
railroad tracks, to
Keyser
Söze from the 1995 film The Usual Suspects.
You'd be hard pressed to find such villains in the lists below. None has
killed anyone (that we know of) and their actions have not been criminal in the
most part, with one or two exceptions. Instead, they are people who we feel have
either harmed the industry in some way, or just really annoyed us.
Some are shrewd businessmen whose tactics have garnered them a long list of
enemies. Others are well-meaning individuals whose mistakes earned them the ire
of the public, while still others are moral crusaders who don't mind being seen
as a heel by the unwashed masses.
In the spirit of Newton's third law, we'll be doing an IT heroes piece next
week. Let us know if there's anyone you think should be included on the list.
Honourable
Mention: Deidre LaCarte
Shaun Nichols: In the late 1990s as the internet was carving
out its place in mainstream culture, a student named Deidre LaCarte created a
web page as a tribute to her pet hamster. The result was, you guessed it,
Hampsterdance,
one of the earliest and most annoying internet memes ever recorded.
The page combined a long collection of dancing cartoon hamsters with an
infectious, high-pitched jingle that was, ironically, a bit like having an
actual rodent gnawing at one's brain.
However, the site was also a hit with the burgeoning crowd of web 'newbies'.
The page became the first of many pointless internet phenomena, and is likely to
have driven hundreds of junior high school computer teachers to seek psychiatric
help.
Iain Thomson: I have to say I'm gobsmacked at Shaun's restraint on
this one. When we were coming up with the list LaCarte was one of his top picks,
and certainly the one that inspired the most bile. It's not often we discuss a
list and the phrase "impaled on a rusty spike" is heard, not even when it comes
to
Darl
McBride.
Hampsterdance was annoying certainly. It spawned cheesy singles that made it
into the charts in a number of countries, and I blame it for the Dancing Baby
syndrome that took off later, and made it onto the egregious Ally
McBeal.
As memes go, it was everywhere for a while but its influence has faded. It
seems the pain, for some, has not.
Honourable
mention: Ted Stevens
Iain Thomson: The former Senator from Alaska earned ridicule
for his 2006 speech against net neutrality, in which he described the internet
as a "series of tubes" and managed to confuse the internet and email.
What made this worse was that he had a major role in regulating internet
commerce. It's a bit like your doctor showing a complete lack of knowledge by
prescribing a course of leeches for a bad back. Here was a chap who showed
cavalier disregard for the industry he was regulating, and his words sent
shivers down the spines of people in the business of building e-commerce.
In actual fact the tube analogy from a technical standpoint could have been
justified by someone who knew what they were talking about. But Stevens patently
didn't, and it sounded like he was reading a poorly formed briefing paper from a
lobbyist rather than expressing a view.
Net neutrality is too important to be left to people who don't know what they
are talking about. Following his conviction on seven corruption charges, Stevens
is now thankfully out of the loop on internet regulation and may be spending
some time in prison, where one hopes he won't spend time finding out another
wrong use of a series of tubes.
Shaun Nichols: Stevens may have made it into the top 10 had his
error not been so laughable. The scary thought is that it came in the context of
such an important debate.
At the time he made his infamous quote, Stevens was probably the
best-informed person in the room on the subject of net neutrality. Think about
that for a moment; these men are debating what essentially amounts to the future
of e-commerce and communications in the US, and the most knowledgeable person in
this group thinks that the internet functions much in the same way as the
pneumatic deposit system at your local drive-through bank branch.
As disliked as he may be in the computing world, Stevens is perhaps even more
of a villain among his constituents in Alaska. The former senator now faces a
considerable prison term for corruption.
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