Fanboys beware, parliament is not as safe as it appears. Apple iPads, iPods and even candlesticks regularly go missing in the hallowed halls, according to new reports.

The shady goings on have been brought to light by official Palace of Westminster crime reports. The documents reveal that the crimes logged since 2008 range from assaults to the theft of a £1,500 microphone and even a £25 orchid.

However, in the latest case, upstanding MP Keith Vaz has reported that his iPad and laptop have been stolen.

Considering that Vaz claimed £75,000 in expenses for a flat that was 12 miles from his home, Sneak is a little bit sceptical about any of the crime reports logged in the Commons. Sure there's nothing else on the list? A new Motorola Xoom or an Xbox 360 perhaps?

With former Labour minister Elliot Morley having been jailed today for 16 months, it's fair to assume that most of the incidents are an inside job, and Sneak's not pointing the finger at the cleaners here.

The high level of crime also doesn't say much about security at the Palace of Westminster. Although, it's not fair to blame the guards entirely. Sneak wouldn't want to give Ken Clarke or his boozed up colleagues a full body search on their way out, either.

20 May 2011