The BBC's The Apprentice is back this week with a special tech-themed episode, giving Sneak an opportunity to watch trash television while pretending to do research for work.

Wednesday's episode saw the 15 candidates designing mobile applications, or as Lord Sugar helpfully explained for the non-technologists, "apps". Lord Sugar used the episode to remind us of his own expertise as the brains behind technology game changers such as the Amstrad e-m@iler.

Nick Hewer, one of Lord Sugar's trusted advisors, seemed less taken with the chosen theme. He spent most of the episode muttering about not really being the target market, and pulling a face that we could imagine Steve Jobs making when being told that Windows Phone 7 is going to challenge the iPhone for sales. Clearly not an Android fan then, Nick?

Neither of the apps was ever going to challenge Angry Birds' dominance at the top of the charts. The girls came up with the Ampy App, which played annoying noises and sounds to "surprise" friends and family. The choice was rather limited: a baby screaming, some cheering and clapping, and a few animal impressions. Strangely the app displayed a picture of an elephant, although no elephant sounds were actually included.

The boys opted for Slang-a-tang, an "hilarious" selection of regional UK accents repeating hackneyed phrases - plus an Aussie thrown in for good measure. We can't quite remember all the phrases, but we're sure that 'Throw another shrimp on the barbie' and 'Cor blimey, let's get up the apples and pears' were both in there.

Despite a woeful performance at a gamers' convention keynote, the girls ended up winning; apparently the global audience doesn't quite get the UK's fascination with geordies, scousers and cockneys.

And Sneak was left to ponder next year's tech-themed Apprentice episode. Perhaps the first team to find yet another buyer for Skype, as Microsoft realises the $8.5bn price tag was perhaps a touch overblown?

12 May 2011