A little girl kicks her heels in frustration. Why is her homework taking so long to download? Because the internet is a gate that’s half closed, held back by a piece of hairy string, her father explains.

Soon girl and parent join a throng, marching on the headquarters of a nameless organisation. And the crowd’s voice is heard, by a bloke in a not very convincing server room. He creeps toward the black monolith in the very centre of the room. He throws a brushed-steel lever, with a look of triumph tinged with trepidation. And lo, the hairy twine is no more, and the gate swings wide!

So... let’s hope the little girl’s homework isn’t about explaining the workings of local loop unbundling and ADSL.

At least one thing rings true about the ad. The first syllable of the firm behind it: Bulldog.

14 Nov 2005