Intemperance societies the world over will be raising a glass to researchers from the University of Wales, who have developed a computer program to help alcoholics stop drinking. The software aims to help heavy drinkers ignore alcoholic stimuli - adverts, pubs, a bad day at work, a cool and tempting glass of cold beer on a hot day with plump beads of condensation running temptingly over its lickable curves like hot sweat sliding over the thighs of a dusky... sorry, where were we? Er, yes, the software uses a range of cognitive training regimes. For example, one module features a screen showing an alcoholic and a non-alcoholic drink, each surrounded by a different colour. The drinkers are then made to repeatedly identify the colour around the non-alcoholic drink, thus training their brains to shy away from evil booze. Amazingly, after just four sessions the sample group were consuming less alcohol. And there was Sneak thinking alcoholism was a complex psychological and sociological problem - when all that was needed was a dull computer game.

01 Aug 2006