School's out for summer

For little tykes, the summer holidays are a chance to perfect various tyke-ish pursuits such as football, war, Barbies, bike riding, eating sweets and crisps (strangely, they don't seem to be very good at this and will require lots of practice) and generally living the life of Reilly.

Parents, on the other hand, wake each day filled with dread, waiting for the stage-whispered 'Mum!' or 'Dad!' at seven o'clock in the morning, followed by 'What are we going to do today?', day after ruddy day.

Usually of course, you haven't a clue, but armed with this invaluable parents' survival guide you can look forward to weeks of trouble-free holidaying. Well, maybe.

The great outdoors
If the weather is halfway decent (and it's a big 'if') you're probably best off outdoors. Planit4kids (www.planit4kids.co.uk) is a good place to kick off. It was founded by Maya Rasamny and her two mates after they'd spent a day trying, and failing miserably, to amuse her kids. It does a good job of rounding up information on days out - kid-friendly places to eat, local playgroups, sports facilities and so on - as well as reviewing books and other stuff.

The site is usefully divided into city-based regions (such as London, Birmingham, Manchester, Bristol, with more planned) and includes a neat web-based calendar where you can create a personalised itinerary.

Other good umbrella sites include the National Trust (www.nationaltrust.org.uk), which keeps the keys to some of the most beautiful countryside in England, Wales and Northern Ireland. A family can join for under £60 and although that's a fair whack, a few trips soon cover the cost.

Alternatively, if your lot like to be organised, then there's nothing finer than the Scouts (www.scoutbase.org.uk/), which will help keep them out of your hair on a longer-term basis as well as teaching them skills that could be important in later life, such as orienteering and youth hostelling.

More seriously, it has a staggering selection of outdoor-type links, including www.yha.org.uk, where you'll find a good family break section. If you'd prefer to go abroad, click through to Mums Net (www.mumsnet.com), where even dads are allowed, and where you'll find some good reviews of kid-friendly holidays.

If all that's a little obvious, think of something totally different they'd like to try out - a new sport or activity, for example - and then go from there.

You may have already thought about a soccer school (www.soccercamps.co.uk/frameset.htm), but remember that the British Cheerleading Association runs summer camps round the country where you can "learn how to stunt safely and build solid pyramids with confidence". Crikey! Find out more at www.cheerleading.org.uk.

Pieces of eight
Most kids like a treasure hunt, so try www.ukdetectornet.co.uk/rally.htm where there's a compendious timetable of metal detecting events in the UK. At Oxford's Supercamps (www.supercamps.uninet.co.uk/) they can learn trampolining or 'pop' lacrosse (what?), while at Suffolk's Valley Farm & Riding Centre (www.valleyfarm.demon.co.uk/riding/camps.html), horsey-types can tack up to their hearts' content.

Elsewhere, older kids might not fancy going to church much, but they might like the idea of helping to restore one. Cathedral Camps runs 'restoration' holidays for over sixteens around the country. It's cheap too. Visit www.cathedralcamps.org.uk/index.htm for more info.

Check out local town and city websites where you'll often find inspiration in the form of local, cheap attractions, playgroups and other schemes. If you live in Devon or Cornwall, for example, try Carfree Days Out (www.carfreedaysout.demon.co.uk) where there are maps, as well as bus and train timetables.

Elsewhere, Cambridge has a good kids' section (www.adhocity.com/cambridge/kids/),as does Hampshire County Council (www.hants.gov.uk/leisure/children/).And of course, London invites your kids to overrun it along with millions of others with a range of informative websites of which This is London (www.diana.co.uk/dynamic/visitors/childrens/top_direct.html) is one of the best.

You can find the site for your local council by checking out the list at Yahoo on
http://uk.dir.yahoo.com/Regional/Countries/United_Kingdom/England/Counties_and_Regions/.

By the way, most of the good UK search engines and directories such as Yahoo and Lycos have either obvious sections for kids - such as Yahooligans - or family-style categories, which are often a good source of ideas.

Stormy weather
Now, given the vagaries of what we laughingly call English Summer Time, there'll be occasions when you'll need to keep them indoors, and once they've watched Mathilda and Mary Poppins (or Robocop and The Mummy) 20 times, they'll need things to do. If that great lump in the corner doing nothing is a computer, press it into service. If it's your partner, do the same and get the kids online.

There are plenty of creative ideas at www.makestuff.com, although the instructions for making frosted glass ('dissolve four heaped tablespoons of Epsom salts into one cup of beer. This will foam. Let set for at least 30 minutes') is a disaster waiting to happen.

Planet Kids (www.planetkids.co.uk) is also a wide-ranging portal, although many of its links go straight to grown-up sites. Similarly, the heavily plugged BBC DynaMo site (www.bbc.co.uk/education/dynamo/home.shtml) is good value, although it's hard to take a dog with helicopter ears seriously. Here you can see how the Victorians made lemonade, learn about the first dog in space (Laika, as it happens) and play a selection of Shockwave-animated games.

To stop them getting lazy make sure older kids click through to Schools Online (www.bbc.co.uk/education/schools/), where there's much more appropriate stuff (in other words, harder) for 11 to 16 year olds. Incidentally, don't be put off by the TV and resources page where the programmes are actually broadcast on BBC2 at 3am. It's OK - the idea is that you record them and use them later when the kids are really bored. It freaked me out for a moment, too.

Encourage practical skills with a trip to The Quick Trick Show (www.quicktrick.co.uk/pages/quicktricks.html), which has a selection of the kind of simple magic that kids enjoy with clear step-by-step instructions, or try www.balloonhq.com, which heaves with balloon animals.

Be careful they don't click through to the American Professional Rodeo Clowns and Bullfighters Association where an entirely different career from the one you envisaged awaits them.

Game for a laugh
Finally, on the entertainment theme www.kidsjokes.com tells its own - not always funny - story, after which they can share them with mates round the world courtesy of http://kidspenpals.about.com/kids/kidspenpals/.

If in doubt, put the computer to use and join the hundreds of kids who've made their web pages at Dorling Kindersley's Children Of Britain site http://194.223.193.177/default.asp) using simple form-based software.

Alternatively, for under £20 Sierra Web Artist 2 will let them build the real thing with thousands of pieces of clip art, some of which are superb. Elsewhere in the shops, Dorling Kindersley's series of CDRoms are usually good value. However, for real charm and quirkiness, try the Millie Metre and Oscar the Balloonist series from Tivola. Also have a look at Physicus, a smashing Myst-like science game for older kids.

If the little terrors are young enough and you just can't take any more, there's always the old Sleeping Lions standby. "Everybody lie face down away from each other and get comfortable. Then keep absolutely still for as long as possible, without any movement or noise."

It's the biggest con of all time of course, but it might just work - once.