Sneak’s never been the biggest football fan: all that greenery, sunlight and fresh air just seems so, well, unhealthy.

However, even he was caught up in the mayhem of the final weekend of the Premiership season, which all came down to the final few seconds when Manchester City won 3-2 against Queen’s Park Rangers to clinch the title ahead of rivals Manchester United.

Sneak was enthralled by the drama of it all, with the pantomime villain played by someone called Joseph Barton, who was sent off for what can only be described as brawling with another of the players – it would never happen at coding academy.

On being sent off Barton was labelled all manner of nasty things, with many claiming his career at the club would be over, but Barton himself, a well-known member of the Twitter clan who quotes everything from lyrics by The Smiths to philosophers, looked to appease his detractors.

Taking advantage of the firm’s Promoted Tweets tool he issued a publicly apologise for his actions, although the tone is hardly one ringing with remorse.

Right enough about yesterday, I apologise to everyone offended by it. If that's not enough for some, so be it. Life is too short. #moveon

— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) May 14, 2012

It’s a novel idea, a footballer – or any public figure – taking to Twitter to issue an apology - perhaps we should demand it more often of those we believe to have erred.

However, this could mean Twitter would become nothing more than an endless stream of pop-starlets, middle-aged politicians and aging rock stars forced to confess to their indiscretions.

It is fair to say Rupert Murdoch had a pretty hectic 2011, with his firm involved in the huge phone hacking scandal that led to the closure of the News of the World and the ongoing Leveson enquiry.

This also saw Murdoch grilled relentlessly by MPs at a Commons Select Committee in which he proclaimed it was the "most humble day of my life", before being hit in the face by a foam pie - by "comedian" Jonnie Marbles, not the MPs.

Now, in a move even the most daring Hollywood scriptwriter wouldn't have tried to pull off, Murdoch has joined that most public of forums, Twitter, in order to share his thoughts and opinions with the world, which mainly involves him praising Fox.

One message reads:

Saw Fox film Descendants.Thank God, one to be proud of. Star Geo Clooney deserves Oscar, maybe film too.

— Rupert Murdoch(@rupertmurdoch) December 31, 2011

while another proclaims:

I LOVE the film "we bought a zoo", a great family movie. Very proud of fox team who made this great film.

— Rupert Murdoch(@rupertmurdoch) January 1, 2012

Sneak isn't sure where to begin really: the utterly appalling grammar (perhaps he needs an editor, is Andy Coulson available?), the brazen bias, the willingness of Rups to open himself up to an almighty online backlash, or his chutzpah in joining Twitter when you'd have thought he'd be keen to stay out of the headlines for once.

Then, as if things weren't bizarre enough, his wife Wendi Deng - her of Commons-pie-attacker-hitting-fame - apparently joined up too, and not only started defending Rups (obviously) but also flirting with Ricky Gervais.

However, it sadly became clear this was a hoax account, despite Twitter giving it the blue tick of verification for a short while.

Sneak would like to think it is all some form of April Fool's stunt, but sadly it is most definitely still early January and Rupert Murdoch really has joined Twitter. Happy New Year - 2012 is off to a flier.

Google owns the search market. This is well known and is why the firm releasing information on the most searched for terms is an annual event that provides the best snap-shot into what occupied the world's attention in a given year.

As it turns out it is mainly celebrities, which is not surprising really. Yet Sneak was surprised to discover that in Blighty, the fifth most searched for term on Google was 'Google'.

Aside from the dangers of destroying the internet by Googling Google, is it not a bit odd that so many people are searching for the very thing they are already using?

Sure, there must be some legitimate reasons to Google the firm itself, but Sneak suspects there's something amiss here.

What could well be happening is not-too-smart internet users are searching for Google from the corner search boxes provided on browsers such as Firefox, not realising that it is Google.

What is worse, though, is that the world's most popular sites are the most popular searches too, including Facebook in number one, YouTube in two, the BBC in six and Amazon in seven, which is odd if you think about.

All of these sites have some of the most recognisable URLs on the planet and it is highly likely that most people will have the address stored in their URL search bar on their browsers and so could just go there direct with a few keystrokes.

Or, better yet, use the handy bookmarks tool bar function (best served in Firefox) to create a nifty list of your favourite sites so you don't have to clog up what would be an otherwise interesting list with searches that make the UK look like a nation of morons.

The church is not an institution known for its cutting-edge, 24/7, information junkie ethos. In fact, Sneak generally believed that the church liked to suppress free thought in order to maintain the God-fearing status quo.

However, it seems that members of the charitable Church of England are a tech-savvy bunch, and their Ethical Investment Advisory Group (EIAG) has a shedload of cash invested in various internet service providers (ISPs). All for the greater good, you understand.

But in a disturbing, Dan Brown-like revelation it has reached the ears of those on the EIAG board that there is porn on the internet, and as a result they are considering withdrawing their investments unless more is done to curb this horrifying situation, according to The Telegraph.

Sneak can't help but wonder how handy it is that the church never heard about this porn on the internet problem before, ensuring plenty of juicy dividends and returns on its investments.

Still, now that they have made a stand, the ISPs will no doubt be rushing to issue a fix for this problem that has long plagued the industry and all online users.

Perhaps, though, in light of recent news that Anonymous took out a hosting firm that provided access to highly dubious material, the Church of England should pass on its funds to the hacking collective and let its members take out many more such sites.

Sneak once typed a standard, everyday phrase into Google and was shocked, embarrassed and appalled to find results that pertained to what can only be described as, well, (deep breath) pornography.

A few days later, having sufficiently recovered strength to venture online again, Sneak was overwhelmed by what he found after a dedicated search for this previously unknown area of the internet.

It turns out lots of people like this 'pornography' and the world has agreed that a special domain is required to separate this kind of content from the boring, normal, safe stuff. The domain is, of course, .xxx.

Not XXXX, mind. That's an Australian beer called Castlemaine. Does that mean they'll buy XXXX.xxx? Confusing.

Of course, a new domain means a landrush for top domains linked to the most popular search terms, but the organisation in charge of the management of .xxx domains, ICM Registry, has revealed that it has banned some 15,000 celebrity names already.

"We didn't want to have the embarrassment of AngelinaJolie.xxx coming up at the launch of the new domain," the company's chief executive, Stuart Lawley, told The Guardian.

Of course, an AngelinaJolie.xxx domain makes sense, but Lawley also said that names such as David Cameron, Tony Blair and Margaret Thatcher will also be blacklisted. The mind boggles.

Anyway, since discovering this brave new world, Sneak has decided to take action. So make sure you check out V3Sneak.xxx for hot sarcastic blogging action. Oh yeah.

The Scottish are well known for their sunny disposition and the ability to Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, so it was something of a surprise to hear one member of the clan tell another to "cheer up".

Yet that's exactly what Scottish secretary Michael Moore (not the documentary maker) said to infrastructure secretary Alex Neil after the latter claimed that £68.8m was a "disappointing" figure to roll out broadband across Scotland.

"The Scottish government needs to be more upbeat. It takes a rather sour outlook to turn nearly £70m into a setback. Cheer up for goodness' sake and get on with delivering the improvements to our rural communities," Moore told the Press Association.

Neil, always keen to look for humour in a situation, responded by attacking Moore's apparent ignorance over the size of the nation he is responsible for at Westminster.

"We do find it funny that Moore, as secretary of state for Scotland, appears unaware that this funding allocation doesn't reflect the fact that Scotland has a third of the UK landmass and some of the most remote areas in these islands," he quipped.

Such feuding and barbed witticisms are not what the Scotch people need now. What they need is for everyone to pull together so they can fight the hated English and ... wait, too much Braveheart? ... pull together to deliver broadband for all. Ahem.

Sneak is an adventurous sort. Sometimes he buys a scratchcard, sometimes he mixes and matches his socks, sometimes he only buys a single when he's going on a return journey, but he must admit he's been out-manned today by the improbably named Kenton Cool.

Cool has, for the ninth time and aged just 37, just finished an ascent on Everest and did it to prove you can get a 3G signal on top of the highest mountain in the world.

There are areas of deepest darkest London where Mr Cool could try to find a 3G signal and have less success.

It seems as if he may have been inspired, perhaps spiritually, perhaps financially, to get his arse up the mountain thanks to Samsung, who provided him with a brand new Galaxy S II to get his 3G signal. Which was nice of them, wasn't it?

"Everest summit no 9! 1st tweet from the top of the world thanks to a weak 3G signal & the awesome Samsung Galaxy S2 handset!" he tweeted, although he didn't turn location on, so we can't know for sure if it was sent from the summit exactly.

It's a pretty light phone, so at least it didn't add much extra weight to his baggage on the way up, and no doubt you'll see the branding soon enough: "The Samsung Galaxy S II - able to find 3G on Everest!", or something equally obvious.

Still, if Cool's exploits prove one thing it's, as he said when talking to the BBC, that the world is getting smaller and that geographical impediments to phone networks are being overcome every day (and they don't come much bigger than Everest).

Now, all that's left to do is sort out coverage in my flat.

Sneak remembers the first time he was shown how to use email - it was a groundbreaking moment. You could send email, receive replies, forward messages, and even copy in other contacts. Such fun!

One hour later it was understood and since then Sneak has sent, received and forwarded millions of emails to all manner of people, but it seems that, despite almost 20 years of practice, some people are still confused by the technology.

It emerged this week that a couple of City boys (never the smartest bunch admittedly) have got in a lot of hot water after they managed to accidentally cc the girl they were discussing in some, ahem, rather red-blooded terms via email.

Sebastian Marsh, 24, contacted Harry Fildes, 25, to ask his permission to go after his ex, Jenni Palmer, whom he had meet on a night out. Such honour boys; you'd never find IT men acting with such chivalry.

Marsh said that he thought Palmer was a "looker" and asked whether he could "have a go", to which Fildes replied: "Yes, she is HOT!" but then managed to copy the aforementioned young woman into the email exchange.

Realising his mistake, Fildes emailed his mate saying: "Can you recall emails?!"

Sneak would like to imagine a vision of Vint Cerf appearing before young Fildes and slapping him around the head before declaring: "No, of course not you idiot!"

It gets better (or worse depending on your point of view) because Fildes shares a house with Palmer, meaning that their relationship, which was probably already fractious, must be downright disastrous now.

Still, give it another 20 odd years lads, and you'll be pros.