What a week it was for Mark Zuckerberg. It started with him a penniless, hoody-wearing geek running a start-up and ended with him a multi-billionaire, chief executive of a public company and a married man. Yes, he got married and didn't invite us!

Sneak had thought that when the Zuck and his long-time partner Priscilla Chan got married, he'd set up an event on Facebook and invite all his friends, all 900+ million of us, to the big day, so we could celebrate together.

Think of all the poking and tagging and checking-in that could have taken place.

It wasn't to be, though, with the happy couple having a small, private ceremony with friends and family, many of whom didn't even realise was a wedding reception. They had been told it was just a ‘party', according to numerous (probably drunk) sources.

One could ask Chan, "so what first attracted you to multi-billionaire Mark Zuckerberg," but the 27-year-old has been dating the Facebook founder for several years, so could probably never have known she'd enter a union blessed by untold wealth.

There was no word on a pre-nup, though, so whether Zuckerberg comes to regret the union years down the line remains to be seen. But Sneak would like to wish these two kids all the best in the big, fun, exciting adventure that is marriage...he imagines.

Still, one shocking revelation did come from the big day - Zuckerberg does own a suit!

Sneak has a lesson for anyone that uses a public computer to carry out personal tasks like social networking: remember to log out.

That lesson would be well learned by a certain two Colombian chaps, who Sneak feels are to track-covering what snow boots are to desert attire.

We meet these smart cookies at Colombian website El Tiempo, where we learn that one of the two men who chose not to pay their bill at the web cafe they were using left his Facebook page open for all to see. This, of course, made it much easier for him to be identified.

The pair then went on to steal a motorbike, to make their getaway after their audacious crime. Needless to say, the bike has already been recovered.

There has already been a great deal said about the relevant privacy implications of using Facebook. If this does not teach you the merits of protecting your privacy, as well as the more obvious downsides of committing criminal acts, then nothing will.

Sneak’s never been the biggest football fan: all that greenery, sunlight and fresh air just seems so, well, unhealthy.

However, even he was caught up in the mayhem of the final weekend of the Premiership season, which all came down to the final few seconds when Manchester City won 3-2 against Queen’s Park Rangers to clinch the title ahead of rivals Manchester United.

Sneak was enthralled by the drama of it all, with the pantomime villain played by someone called Joseph Barton, who was sent off for what can only be described as brawling with another of the players – it would never happen at coding academy.

On being sent off Barton was labelled all manner of nasty things, with many claiming his career at the club would be over, but Barton himself, a well-known member of the Twitter clan who quotes everything from lyrics by The Smiths to philosophers, looked to appease his detractors.

Taking advantage of the firm’s Promoted Tweets tool he issued a publicly apologise for his actions, although the tone is hardly one ringing with remorse.

Right enough about yesterday, I apologise to everyone offended by it. If that's not enough for some, so be it. Life is too short. #moveon

— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) May 14, 2012

It’s a novel idea, a footballer – or any public figure – taking to Twitter to issue an apology - perhaps we should demand it more often of those we believe to have erred.

However, this could mean Twitter would become nothing more than an endless stream of pop-starlets, middle-aged politicians and aging rock stars forced to confess to their indiscretions.

Technology billionaires have never been ones for ties. Whether Steve Jobs infamous turtleneck or the Mark Zuckerberg hoodie, it seems Silicon Valley lacks a dress code. That's why it's kind of funny to hear from potential Facebook investors who are taking umbrage at the chief executive of Facebooks choice in attire.

"I think that's a mark of immaturity," said Wedbush Securities analyst Michael Pachter when asked about Zuckerberg's choice in clothing by Bloomberg.

"I think that he has to realise he's bringing investors in as a new constituency right now, and I think he's got to show them the respect that they deserve because he's asking them for their money."

Dress codes have never been a major part of Silicon Valley. Dating as far back as 1970, places like the Xerox Palo Alto Research Center (PARC) were offering a no dress code environment. Technology has always been a sector of substance over style.

Whether it's the West Coast sun or the fact that technology executives tend to start out younger, it seems tech people care more about their work than their look. So while Wall Street types may continue to wear Armani suits, it looks like billionaire techies will continue to wear whatever they want.

As long as it isn't pyjamas. Zuckerberg did that once and it didn't take.

Sneak isn't the healthiest chap around. He enjoys the odd cigar, a splash of brandy, and a dustbin lid-sized fry-up far too much and while he often means to take up some exercise, he somehow never finds the time. Next year, though, definitely.

The news, therefore, that Facebook is launching a creepy, organ-harvesting programme to assess the health and fitness of its 900m plus members was one Sneak noted with alarm, bringing back memories of the school locker room and the mad glint in his PE teacher's eye before being sent on a freezing cross-country run.

Well, organ harvesting is perhaps a description too far, as the site really just wants to encourage its users to sign up for organ donation should the worst happen, to ensure those awaiting a transplant could survive.

"More than 114,000 people in the United States, and millions more around the globe, are waiting for the heart, kidney or liver transplant that will save their lives. Many of those people - an average of 18 people per day - will die waiting, because there simply aren't enough organ donors to meet the need," said brain-eater-in-chief Mark Zuckerberg.

"Medical experts believe that broader awareness about organ donation could go a long way toward solving this crisis. And we believe that by simply telling people that you're an organ donor, the power of sharing and connection can play an important role."

While the motives are noble, and the outcomes could save lives, there's something undeniably creepy about the idea of using Facebook, a site that started as a way to poke random acquaintances and share hilarious drunk photos, has turned into a place where you can sign away your organs if you die.

Gives the term Facebook a whole new, sinister meaning.

Sneak was recently invited to a party hosted by the lovely folks at Research in Motion (RIM) at which the musical songstress and all round good-egg Jessie J was set to perform.

Despite warnings from his mother that parties with alcohol can be dangerous places, Sneak donned his glad-rags and sprayed on some Brut and was already for his big, annual, night out, but was sadly stopped from going when the engine in his car was run down having left the lights on overnight.

However, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise (like a vicar in a tutu) when revellers turned violent, and one bottled another in the neck, leaving a pool of blood everywhere, a man in hospital and RIM left wondering why it can't stop generating negative publicity.

Obviously, it's not the firm's fault this incident occurred, but it seems symptomatic of its endless run of bad decisions, poor investments, confusing messages to the media and just plain bad luck that even a fun, social, event ends in yet another PR disaster.

Sneak is just glad he wasn't there to witness the event, and can't help by wonder if his mother wasn't right after all, the wide world is no place for him - back to the internet, it's much safer there.

At last, Sneak has found evidence that the judiciary really is down with the kids. In Hasbro versus Asus, it's round one to the gadget maker, after a judge used his in-depth knowledge of Autobots and Decepticons to swat away the toymaker's claims.

Hasbro had wanted a preliminary injunction, which could have seen Asus banned from flogging its Android-based tablets. Thankfully for gadget-loving Yanks, the judge had never tuned into Cartoon Network expecting to see 30 minutes of a tablet docking with a keyboard – and reasoned most consumers would know which Transformer Prime was which.

“The Autobots are led by the virtuous Optimus Prime character, while the Decepticons follow the powerful Megatron," the judge told the court.

Nevertheless, Optimus Prime and his cohorts are not so easily defeated – a full trial will decide once and for all whether Asus can continue to use the Transformer name.

Hasbro is adamant that a scene from the latest Transformer movie provides the crux of its case against Asus. In it, an Autobot disguises itself as, what else, a Lenovo ThinkPad.

Sneak hasn't seen the movie, having given up on the franchise after the over-the-top explosions and lack of plot in the first two. But if Asus's next shape-shifting tablet is called Dark of the Moon, Sneak might concede Hasbro was on to something.

Apple has long been renowned for the innovative architecture and layout of its retail locations. The minimalist design and glass storefronts have become as familiar with the public as the company's iconic logo.

According to at least one woman and her attorney, however, Apple's retail storefronts are less an archtectural marvel and more of a looming death trap.

The 83 year old resident of Queens, NY claims that Apple was negligent when they erected their Long Island store with a massive glass front. The woman suffered a broken nose when she failed to see the glass wall and walked into a door.

As a result, the woman now believes that Apple owes here roughly $1m in damages. Her lawyer claims that the company's store designs are insensitve to the needs and limitations of older customers.

Such lawsuits have become a favourite passtime here in the US, so it is not much of a surprise that the matter has gained traction and will likely be settled out of court for significantly less than the claim.

That a glass storefront would pose a problem for Apple should hardly be a surprise. After all, the company has long been haunted by its struggles with Windows...