Now hobbled by a bad hamstring to complement his broken foot, a battered Woz takes to the stage for another installment of Dancing With The Stars. And what's more, he's now acknowledging what some of us have been saying for weeks: they're out to get him.

Woz noted that the show does not disclose the numbers for public voting, and as such Woz's geek army and its mighty tide of votes could simply be discarded just to put everyone's favorite quickstepping teletubby back on the chopping block.

Of course, Woz later retracted his comments and apologised to the producers of the show, something true conspiracy theorists know as a classic sign of a cover-up. Wake up, sheeple! Not only are they out to get Woz, but now they're forcing him to do their bidding as well.

Tonight, Woz dances the samba. It's suggested that you put down that grassy knoll diarama, strap on your tin foil hat and watch closely for illuminati saboteurs tonight as Woz and Karina Smirnoff do their thing.

24 Mar 2009