Sneak is of course transfixed by the latest BBC TV reality show, The Apprentice, in which a variety of MBA-brained bozos drink champagne, struggle to come up with a business proposition worthy of an amoeba, fail to make any headway, and then stab each other in the back in their efforts to avoid being booted out. The most recent episode gave viewers an unwelcome insight into the mind of the average contestant, as one dim-bulb ideas man - possibly Paul although they all look the same to Sneak - confessed that it was just as well his lady friend was attractive without make-up or she'd have missed her chance. Sneak can only assume she has since taken to hitting herself in the face with a steak tenderiser. But of course Sneak has to admire tech entrepreneur Sir Alan Sugar, of Amstrad fame, who acts as judge, jury and booter-outer. Not only does he permanently exhibit a scowl of laser-beam intensity, but he is also capable of stating the bleeding obvious ("It's boring", of a proposed children's toy consisting of a pack of blank cards) in an exceedingly forthright manner. Plus, he has clearly insisted that one of his firm's bizarre Amstrad Em@iler things features in every possible shot where a conventional phone would normally appear. One has to feel sorry for Sugar's secretary, for example. It's probably difficult enough dealing with a boss who barks like a dog with an impacted colon, but to have to field his calls on an Em@iler must surely be grounds for constructive dismissal.

24 Feb 2005