Sneak is pleased to hear that Microsoft has launched a proper English version of the Voice Command system for its Pocket PC platform. To date, when using the system Sneak has been forced to adopt the lazy consonants, flat vowels and nasal inflections common to our colonial cousins. Now the company has got around to a UK version, Sneak does wonder what accent he will now be forced to adopt. According to the firm it supports 13 UK dialects including Glaswegian, but Sneak bets it will work best when using two dialects in particular. One, the Dick van Dyke mockney-cockney seen only in US movies: "Gor blimey I wooden arf like ta cawl Marry bloomin Poppins"; or, two, the accent used only by the Queen and Brian Sewell - where the opposite of "no" is a ponderously-delivered "ears"?

08 Mar 2005