What to make of the shocking rumour that Apple will shortly offer its first ever two-button mouse for Macs? Not much, except that Sneak is unlikely to want one. No doubt it will put aesthetics over efficiency in the way that Apple so often does, particularly since its May 1998 reinvention - with the debut of the iMac - as a supplier of consumer products modelled on half-sucked boiled sweets. No doubt the double-button mouse will be as slippery and sweat-inducing as the current Murray-Mint-shaped standard Mac mouse, although it's doubtful that even Apple will ever trump the original iMac's circular, mint imperial mouse for sheer, wilful disregard for basic usability. Probably, the new mouse will be shaped like a Werther's Original, and will have its second button hidden under a little slide-away flap cut in the shape of a half-eaten fruit, handily positioned on the underside of the mouse.

17 Mar 2005