Being a big fan of Gordon Ramsey's swearing and cooking – in that order – Sneak was slightly disappointed to see the great man appear in an advert for BT.

The ads show Mr Ramsey rushing around a restaurant setting up his own computer network, while his kitchen - or some vol-au-vents – burst aflame in the background. The chaos is designed to make people think "*&£$ that for a !+*%ing game of soldiers. I'll get BT to set my *&$%ing network up. There is no way I am @#*!ing doing it myself."

Sneak would find the advertising premise a lot more convincing if Gordo uttered just one swearword. After all, how many people do you know who have set up a home network and haven’t turned the air blue. At least once.

None? No, neither has Sneak.

By way of explanation, Sneak does not make a habit of sitting around watching the telly, but had inadvertently been sucked into watching an episode of a Big Brother spin-off show.

In, "Big Brothers' annoying cojoined twin" or something, the "How Clean is your House" ladies trotted out the old urban legend that the chopping board is a less hygienic surface for preparing food on than the humble toilet seat. This came up because the housemates were to the Big Brother house what dog mess is to the bottom of a trainer. Either way, the comparison has been around for as long as we care to remember.

In the world of IT, the chopping board is nearly always swapped for the keyboard.

Either way, Sneak's response is always the same. "You, obviously, have never seen my toilet…"

26 Jun 2007